1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.
7. 'Jaw-P?' means, 'Did everyone go to the restroom?'
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. 'Fixinto' is one word.
10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards means, I know everything about you.
13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH ˜EM.
16. You measure distance in minutes.
17. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
18. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
19. You know what a 'DAWG' is.
20. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.
21. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.
22. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.
23. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
24. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm.
25. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
26. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World.
27. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good stew or chili weather.
28. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
29. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
30. Guess you understand now that I am on my way to Texas AGAIN?! I need to learn more of this fun stuff!
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6 comments:
This was an absolutely hilarious post! What a giggle i had from the outset, i would just hate to live somewhere where there was more than a common house/garden spider. Those two give me the jitters, let alone the other 9,998 varieties!
Have a safe trip and let us know how ou are getting on :-)
Moni, this cracked me up too! How fun to see us from the outside - my boss is from Texas...
Love these - I dont know anyone who speaks like this, but I'd love to hear them in real! I think I'd have a smile on my face the whole time! enjoy your time in texas!
LOL! At least the place has plenty of personality!
Yep! You just 'bout nailed it! That's surely the way we talk 'round here. Don't forget the food groups: Steak, Hamburgers, Fried Chicken and/or Fish, Everything Else. Salad is a little bit of iceberg lettuce drowning in Thousand Island Dressing, Ranch Dressing, if you're uptown. Enjoy your time here!
Oh boy lol some of these really apply to Ohio too but then again we have family from West Virginia (Texas is West Virginia Lite lol).
((Ran Across your blog on Ravelry. My husband come from Den Haag so I was understandably drawn to come read your blog! lol))
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